草堂隨筆

侶伴是網上原人圏一分子，謂集合愛寫作的人的小圈子，閒談間邀我入會，我思忖片刻便說不。還是喜歡現在的簡單和寧靜，隨心記錄生活的觀察和思緒，和友儕分享，或呢喃自語，讀者多寡倒沒相干。

讀畢George Gissing 的The Private Paper of Henry Ryecrofts，中譯是<草堂隨筆>，甚為貼切。書是半自傳體，是Henry的故事，也是Gissing晚年生活的寫照。Henry暮年時得到一筆可觀的遺產，驟然從生活的營營役役中解脫出來，從倫敦鬧市搬到Devon鄉郊過著閒適的田園生活，欣賞自然的四時美景。畢竟人屆暮年，對人生不免有感觸和嗟嘆，回想前半生的勞碌艱辛、年輕的跌宕，目下美景滲著淡淡的舊日回憶，是懷舊的文字。

本書結集的隨筆篇幅長短不一，都是Henry有感而發，信筆把雜思隨想記下來，漫談政治、宗教、科學、工業、人民生活等，又夾雜著Henry對人生的看法、陳年的回憶和晚年得享清福的竊喜。

英國人甫見面便談起天氣的陰睛來，連寫作也不例外。多篇文章也是從天氣說起；冬日窗縫間鑽進來的第一道晨光，初春破土而出的嫰芽，颯颯秋風捲起漫天的黃葉，仲夏溫煦的艷陽帶來海的氣息，處處流露出英國人對田園自然的熱愛。

筆耕三十多載，賣文維生的日子殊不好過，隆冬時份買不起生火的燃料，只好瑟縮在閣樓的被窩裡取暖；又窮得口袋裡沒幾個錢，只能吃扁豆和青豆充飢，肉食是奢望，不得已只能茹素。現在壁爐火光熊熊，滿室溫暖，氤氳之氣濔漫，在靠背椅上打睏冥想，啪咑的火屑惹來遊思綿綿，遐想翩翩，靈感亦隨之湧現。

Henry間或也抱怨上半生的賣文歲月，興趣變成職業便興味索然，為生計甚麼都要寫，仰人鼻息過活。現在能擺脫俗務羈絆，隨心所欲，漫遊郊野，讀書寫作，過著順心遂意的生活；心之所至，執筆記下，沒有趕稿的死線，沒有俗套的濫文，能重拾文字的樂趣，在文字裡得到共鳴和喜悅，把世俗的煩囂拋諸腦後。

雖然寫作帶給他半輩子的貧窮，但未篇作結時也道出，為理想付出和努力，即使結果未盡人意，人生也有了意義，心裡感到充實和快樂，年歲的延綿已不重要了。

在寒風簫簫的日子裡，坐在壁爐前呷一口茶，悠然渡過下午的時光，享受一刻半晌的安寧靜謐，真是人生樂事。

以下節錄了我喜愛的原文段落﹕

“A book which helps one to forget the idle or venomous chatter going on everywhere about us, and bids us cherish hope for a world “which has such people in it.”

“A fire is a delightful thing, a companion and an inspiration,… a beautiful core of glowing fuel, which if I sit and gaze into it, becomes a world of wonders.”

“It is familiarity with life that makes time speed quickly. When every day is a step in the unknown, as for children, the days are long with gathering of experience; the week gone by is already far in retrospect of things learnt, and that to come, especially if it foretell some joy, lingers in remoteness. Past mid-life, one learns little and expects little. Today is like unto yesterday, and to that which shall be the tomorrow. Only torment of mind or body serves to delay the indistinguishable hours.”

“I could wish for many another year; yet, if I knew that not one more awaited me, I should not grumble. “If” I had lived to no purpose, that I could discover, the end would have seemed abrupt and meaningless. Now, my life is rounded…the work was full of faults, but I had wrought sincerely, had done time and circumstance and my own nature permitted. …May I look back on life as a long task duly completed --- faulty enough, but good as I could make it--- and, with no thought but one of contentment, welcome the repose to follow when I have breathed the word “Finis”.”